


In Need of Change

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bonding, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Heterosexual Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, M/M, Mpreg, Sexual Content, Slash sex, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-06
Updated: 2008-04-22
Packaged: 2018-09-30 22:10:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10173449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: I'm no good at summaries.  It starts as they leave school after 6th year.  Harry is gay and ashamed.  Hermoine finds out about the real Harry and changes begin to happen.  Hermoine is also gay.  Still figuring out the rest.  Sirius did NOT die.PS. Please review.  This is my VERY FIRST fanfiction.





	1. Story Of His Life, Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

**I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS!!! They belong to JK Rowling and her associates. If you recognize it, it most definitely is not mine!**

 

It was the end of his sixth year at Hogwarts and Harry was tired of being who everyone wanted him to be. He had to be the “Griffindor Golden Boy” but he was tired of acting. He had suffered so much and gained so little for it. No one really knew what happened to him at the Dursley’s hands. The truth was that no one really even knew what he truly looked like. He had held a constant glamour on himself since he was five. But now he was sick of it. Hermoine could sense the change in him, but did not comment. Ron, as usual, was completely oblivious to the goings on in him. He had just figured out that he was gay, but that was not the worst of it. No, he was in love with his archrival…Draco Malfoy.

Hermoine’s voice cut through his thoughts, as she entered the train car where he was seated. “Harry,” she pleaded, “you have to talk to someone, please. I know something’s not right. Please tell me! I’m your friend! You know that I won’t tell anyone!”

“No,” he responded, his voice and eyes devoid of the usual life and laughter, “This is one thing you can never know.”

“Harry!” she pestered on, “Tell me something!” With that stated, she turned, whipped out her wand and sealed the door against every sort of eavesdropper and any intruder.

That got a response from him. He looked up at her from beneath his bangs, his eyes finally coming alive, sparking with anger. 

“Why can’t you just leave it alone Hermoine! I do NOT want to talk about it!”

She met his flashing green eyes steadily. “Harry,” she spoke softly, so as to not incur his wrath, “I love you like a brother, come on, you can tell me anything.” With that she settled back and crossed her arms over her chest.

“You’re not going to let me go on this one are you?” He asked, resigned to his fate.

“Nope,” was the smug reply.

Harry let out a deep breath, “Fine, I will tell you my story. BUT, first I need a wizards oath from you that you will speak of this to NO ONE unless with my express permission. Everything you find out in this car stays exclusively between you and me.”

“Agreed. I, Hermoine Granger, swear upon my life and my magic, that anything I learn from you will not be spoken to anyone without your express permission.” A golden beam of light shot between them, causing Hermoine to gasp.

Harry just nodded. Taking another deep breath, he began his tale…well the shortened version at least.

“I know my story begins many years before Hogwarts, but I do not wish to disclose those memories yet. The Dursley’s were never fond of me, because I was a wizard. They kept the truth of my heritage from me, and treated me as a servant. But that is neither here nor there. First year…yes…Hagrid was the one who told me that I was a wizard. He was the one who first told me of Voldemort and how he had killed my parents. He told me how all Slytherins were evil, not knowing, that although I knew nothing about my being a wizard, I did know about wizards. I found out one day while cleaning, found some of my mom’s old books, but of course, knowing that magic didn’t exist, well at least that is what I had been told, I thought them nice fiction. I hid them away and read them ferociously. I loved them. But again, I seem to have gone off topic. Well, when I met you, I liked you immediately…whereas when I met Ron, it took a bit of work because of how completely enraptured he was with my fame and all. A bit off-putting wouldn’t you say?” He did not give her time to answer before he started again. “The sorting hat wanted me to be in Slytherin. I knew that I couldn’t go there, even though that is where I most needed to be. I had to go somewhere else, for that was what was expected, and I had to play into the expected hand. If I had gone into Slytherin, I wouldn’t have been in the right position to play the game. I needed to look as though I was the stupid little “Golden Boy” that everyone wanted. A literally stupid but magically powerful child, so that is what I played.”

Hermoine interjected here, “So you are not an average student?” She had suspected him of holding back, but this validation of her suspicions had to be recognized.

He smiled, knowing that she had suspected him of this. “No, I am not average. Most would actually say that I am in the genius range. Why are you not upset about me almost being a Slytherin?”

Hermoine smiled at that. “I am not upset because I know that the qualities of each individual house are needed. They are all amazingly useful qualities. None of them should be looked down upon. I mean, c’mon! Loyalty, it is necessary in life. Courage, how else are you going to overcome the trials that life throws at you. Knowledge, if you don’t have it, frankly its down the pot with you. And Cunning. If you have no cunning, you can never win the war. You are probably the most balanced person. You have used all of those qualities, and just being assigned to one house or another means nothing.”

Harry’s eyes were wide. _Bullocks, I should have talked to her earlier _, he thought to himself. _But now that I know I can trust her…can I tell her the rest? _He thought, yet again doubting his own worth and acceptance by her.____

____Seeing the immense weight settle back over Harry’s shoulders and his eyes becoming clouded with uncertainty, Hermoine moved over next to him and sat down, pulling him into a one armed hug._ _ _ _

____“It’s okay, Harry, you can tell me anything.” Her voice was soft, soothing and melodious, helping him relax._ _ _ _

____Harry mumbled something in response. “Hmm? What was that?” she leaned in closer to hear._ _ _ _

____“I’m gay,” he whispered again._ _ _ _

____Hermoine, having always had the view that gays are a natural part of every species, looked at his shrinking frame. It was tense with agony, ready for a blow of rejection._ _ _ _

____“So?” she asked, simply, he acceptance of him shining in that one syllable word._ _ _ _

____He looked up at her, blinking owlishly. “You’re not disgusted? You…still care?”_ _ _ _

____“Of course. In fact, now that you mention it…so am I.” she said it in a rush, as if scared of the truth._ _ _ _

____Harry let out a sigh, “but there is more to my story. I shouldn’t want other men…not after what happened…” he trailed off, his face clearly saying that he had not wished to say that._ _ _ _

____Hermoine was immediately concerned. What could have happened? She wondered, hoping with all her might that it wasn’t what she thought. Still, she tentatively voiced her question, “After what happened, Harry?”_ _ _ _

______ _ _


	2. Story Of His Life, Part Two

** FOR DISCLAIMER LOOK AT FIRST CHAPTER! DOESN'T BELONG TO ME! **

*************************************************************************

**Story Of His Life, Part Two**

Harry began to shake slightly, small tremors running throughout his body. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” His voice had become small and raspy.

“Please, Harry, I need to understand!” Hermoine pleaded, scared of the broken image of her best friend. Seeing that her words were not helping, she cuddled him close to her and shushed him like a child, letting him have a bit of time to recover himself. As he calmed down, he did nothing to relinquish the hold that he had gained sometime during his breakdown.

Eventually, he leaned back and looked at her, his eyes dry and void of any hint of emotion. “If I am to tell you this,” his voice proclaimed in an eerily powerful, yet dead tone, “I have made it so you and I will be bonded siblings. Do you agree?” His magical aura became visible by the time he finished the sentence. Hermoine knew that this was a big decision, but she had never heard of bonded siblings before.

Taking a big gulp of air, she looked him in the eye, and simply stated, “Yes, I agree.” Before she could get the entire sentence out of her mouth, his magic slammed into her and surrounded them both in a warm cocoon, as a visible like forged between them. Her blue-tinted magic rose up to meet with his and create a rope between them. Then, as suddenly as the magic had risen, it stopped, leaving the cabin looking dull in comparison.

“W-what was that?” she asked in awe and breathless excitement.

Harry just waited, looking at her, his smile sad and knowing as she came to terms with what had just happened. Behind his Occlumency shields, he counted down: 5…4…3…2…1.

As if on cue, Hermoine stopped short in her wonderment and whirled to Harry. “That was major wandless magic, Harry! You can do major wandless magic?!”

“Yes, I can. As I said before, they needed a stupid but magically powerful pawn.”

She nodded absently, _Now will he share what happened to him with me?_ She wondered.

**_Sure I will_** , a sensual masculine voice sounded in her head. Startled she looked up at Harry. “What the…what the hell was that?!” she exclaimed.

Harry chuckled a bit, “Obviously you missed one book in the Hogwarts Library. I cannot say that I have missed any.” He evaded smugly.

Hermoine slapped him playfully, before becoming serious again, “What was it that happened Harry?”

Harry’s easy, open manner disappeared as if it was never there. Sighing he looked at her, and then proceeded to show her. Images flashed through her mind, him cooking, cleaning, and doing chores no child should do. Then the images slowed down, showing her numerous beatings, whippings, and thrashings. Him tied down, struggling as a huge walrus of a man raped him, slamming into his small body, causing horrid damage. Those were the only days he was allowed to eat. The blood and gore seemed endless. She gasped when it came to an end, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her eyes were glossed over from the pain that he had felt. 

**_That is what happened. That is the true me. BUT coming to Hogwarts has helped me, for now I have gained the height and weight to make me healthy and strong. Dumbledore knew they were not taking care of me. He knew and still sent me back to that Hell. That is what he is doing now, but of course, he does not know that I can now come to you for blood protection, since we are now of the same blood. I will never be good to look at though that is why I will always keep this glamour up. No one can ever know._** The masculine voice slid through her thoughts, weaving itself into her brain. No, it was not just any voice; it was the REAL Harry’s voice. The voice he heard inside his head, just as she heard hers.

“Harry,” her voice quivered with sorrow, “show me.”

Those simple words struck terror through him, so strong that Hermoine could feel it swallowing her up through their link. Abruptly the feeling stopped as his head whipped towards the door of their compartment. Ron’s loud voice could be heard arguing with someone about them and the compartment they were sharing.

“What in bloody hell is going on!” His irate, harsh voice demanded, “I haven’t seen either Harry or Hermoine since I got on this train! And now this compartment is locked! I bet they did this on purpose!” Loud knocking came on the door. With a wistful sigh, Harry looked at the door then turned away, his hand coming up to wave off all the magical wards. Within seconds of his actions, Hermoine observed, Ron came bursting into the compartment, his face red with anger, almost matching his hair, Neville following meekly behind the redhead. 

“What’s this all about? Why did you lock me out!?” His voice was accusatory and harsh.

Calmly, Hermoine studied him, allowing him to rant. For his part, Harry had tuned out all others, retreating into himself, leaving a vacancy where Hermoine had just moments before felt him. Blocking out the noise of Ron’s ranting about them being unfair to him and excluding him from their lives, Hermoine concentrated on that empty spot in her consciousness where Harry had been. **_Are you okay?_** She asked silently, surprised by the ease with which she had accepted their new relationship.

**_Fine, just drained_** , his soft voice brushed through her mind in answer. With that assurance she leaned back and began to pay attention and respond to Ron, who seemed to finally be coming down off of his angry explosion.

Within a few moments they were all talking easily, getting ready for the summer ahead. As the train approached the station, Hermoine kept an eye on Harry, as he seemed to sink deeper and deeper into himself, leaving that void in her mind, a connection unused. _What is coming? How is everything going to change?_ She wondered, for she couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that encompassed her. This summer would be the marking of a new chapter in their lives. _Will Harry be okay?_ Was her last thought before climbing off the train and going to her family, all the while watching Harry as he approached the fat man that she now recognized as his uncle.


	3. Author's Note

**Author's Note**  
Hey, I'm soooo sorry that I haven't been updating. Got sick, muse left, and then school began to get heavy. I won't be getting another chapter up for a while, as I have two 8-9 page papers and a project due next week, and the week after that is Finals. That, and I am going to summer school this year so I can afford, credit wise, to go to Japan next spring for the semester. I will TRY to update as soon as finals are over, before my first summer class starts. Please!!! Bear with me!!!

LOVE YOU!!!!! simply_me89


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